Wandering Mind

I had my first bowl of rice this morning as the beginnings of my rice fast. I had thought that I might allow myself to still have coffee as long as it's black because, quite honestly, I couldn't imagine getting through the day without it. Which means... I probably shouldn't have it. Shit. I have no doubt that I have a coffee addiction. I salivate every time I see a Starbucks sign. I do not plan on giving up coffee permanently but I guess I will for the duration of the rice fast. I will, however, take an advil when that headache hits later.

I was trying to be mindful and grateful as I ate this morning. I was trying to appreciate the unique flavor of each piece of rice, but I just kept thinking "there are so many things I could do to make this taste better!" ah, well. I do think this will be a good experience for me. I need to remember the feeling of being hungry and remind myself it's a good thing, I'm not starving, I'm just not satiated.

This morning L and I are going to the midwife/doctor for our 26 week checkup. We've been going every 4 weeks but as of today we go every two weeks. It's an interesting experience as a man going into what is very much a woman's world but the practice we go to is very supportive and I have learned so much going to the appointments. It's helpful for me to feel like I'm participating in our baby's life now instead of leaving it all up to L. Granted she's doing all the work right now but I want to be able to support her and know what's going on. We're done getting sonograms but we still get to listen to the heartbeat when we go in. My heart skips a beat every time I hear hers. I can't think of any thing that has brought me more joy than the coming of this little girl. To feel her move, hear her heartbeat, or feel her calm down with my voice or touch is such an amazing sensation.

I guess I'm going to not go have some coffee. *sigh*

Labels: Baby, Fasting

Tearing down and rebuilding from the ground up. I've built this house more than once but each time I let it go to the point of starting over. The nice thing about rebuilding is you get to fix the mistakes (or at least some of them) that you did the last time and, while the structure is new, the knowledge is built on and improved each time. I'm finding my feet and hands, engaging the bhandas (trying, at least) and engaging the legs like I'm supposed to. My breathing has happily been one of the steadiest parts of my practice. My emphasis right now is getting stronger and prepared to take my practice further. I'm not pushing flexibility or joints, just giving myself a strong foundation for each breath and trusting that when I'm ready I'll move on.

I'm ignoring that today was a moon day and I think I won't be taking a day off this month. Right now it's about building momentum. I will, however, take it easy when I need to so as not to injure myself right off the bat. I'm unofficially joining the NaYoPracMo movement so I can remind myself what my practice is.

The pregnant wife practiced with me again today so I'm 3, 3, and 3! She was feeling a little too pregnant, though, and after some pranayama and a few asanas moved to the futon to practice her relaxation and positive visualization. I still loved having her in the room so I'm glad she didn't leave.

My other new and probably less than stellar idea is a rice "fast". Obviously if I'm eating it's not exactly a fast but I need to do something to clean out my system and the last time I did a real fast for a week it destroyed my metabolism. We're (meaning I'm) going to shoot for a week and see how I feel. I'll eat brown rice, sometimes with some Miso, and have water and lemon. I found with my last fast I gained a great perspective on food and eating (which I have since lost) so I hope to renew that as well. Sort of start my eating habits from the ground up, too. Hmm... We'll see...

Labels: Fasting, Yoga